In contemplation

Sometimes, I have vainly tried to understand my own self -

What makes me laugh; what brings tear to my eyes? What do I cherish; what from my memory dies? What am I scared of; what gives me the strength to challenge fear itself? What I spend hours to find; why certain things do not even cross my mind?

I vainly tried to understand these and many more..

Sometimes, I have searched for right words to say -

Should I ask forgiveness for my faults; should I erase it all from my thoughts? Should I let you know it hurts to say goodbye; should I let you read them all in my eyes? Should I tell you what I think of you; should I wait in hope that you’ll feel it too?

I searched for right words at times like these and more..

Sometimes I took a step ahead; sometimes I turned my back.

Sometimes I thought I knew too much; sometimes I mused on what I lack.

Sometimes I searched the unknown; sometimes I took solace in humdrum.

Sometimes I did not know what to do; and then I unravelled puzzles some.

Sometimes I won; sometimes I failed,

Sometimes I sunk; sometimes I sailed,

Sometimes I left the world behind,

In search of myself, whom I seek to find.